OK, so I'm having a bad day.

A lot of steam has been building up in me as my pain seems to be exerting itself more than normal recently. So I have to vent a wee bit and perhaps we can commiserate together on my outrage. Please try to visualize these issues as you read them so you can understand my anger.

How in hell are people actually passing their driving tests? I mean, can you honestly tell me when you last saw someone use their signal lights properly? Aside from being one of my pet peeves, I also find this becoming a dangerous fault of more and more drivers. Sudden lane changes in traffic without signal lights. How often have you seen someone wander over into another lane, only to see a "brief blink" of a signal light when the vehicle was already half-way into the other lane?  WTF? How many of you have seen someone mover over into a dedicated "Turn Lane" without signalling, and then usually 20 to 30 feet before the actual turn, when the automobile has no choice but to turn/follow the curve, they suddenly turn on their blinkers. WTF? Why bother??? To me, this is just a sign of laziness and complacency.

SO WHY BOTHER SIGNALLING NOW? Signal lights are supposed to be used IN ADVANCE to making any lane change/turn well in advance of this action, to properly indicate to other drivers around you what your intentions are. That was the way I was taught (and I taught in my classes), but seems to no longer be a valid teaching point to today's driver instructors/examiners.

Today's drivers do NOT take responsibility for their actions, fully believing that the other drivers will watch out for them. Here is the problem. What if everyone had the same attitude? Anarchy would rule the roads, wouldn't it?

Am I missing something here? A few years back, I qualified as a Driver Examiner in Ontario. Here are a couple of small things I concentrated on during driving tests: Speed, Signalling and Situational Awareness. As part of Situational Awareness, driver courtesy is a component. So is Shoulder Checking and Mirror utilization. Of course, Safe driving was the uppermost area of concern.

Just today, I was at a 2-way stop, wanting to make a left turn. While traffic coming from my left to right finally petered out, I pulled out into the intersection to complete my left turn. Suddenly, I was faced with a black SUV from the opposite side of the intersection. That black SUV had not even stopped at it's stop sign, the driver (I discovered later) believing that traffic going straight had priority over traffic turning. In this case, the "Controlled Intersection" rule of traffic law (Alberta) says that the "first-come, first to turn/advance" rule is in place.

I was there a good 30 seconds waiting for a break in traffic to make my turn, whereas the SUV felt that the first break was hers to grab, and that I was in the wrong, even though I was at the intersection well ahead of the SUV, notwithstanding that the SUV just ploughed right through the Stop sign. I had to tell this lady that this rule applies only at "uncontrolled intersections", where there is no signage/traffic control. (stop/yeild/lights). Controlled intersections (lights or signed) require a bit more thinking - which this lady just couldn't comprehend. In her mind, she was going straight and I was turning, so therefore, she got to go first even though I was at the intersection well before her. Duh!

I'm seeing more and more of this incorrect thinking in today's drivers. People making a left turn from a single lane to a double lane immediately wandering - or in many cases - veering over to the right lane (where there usually is a merge lane of some type...) cutting off other cars making a right turn onto the same two-lane road.I am doubly frightened recently as our small city has seen fit to install a couple of "double-turning-lanes" - two-lane turning onto another two-lane. I don't know how many near-misses I have witnessed as vehicles in the left lane wandered into the right lane 3/4's of the way through the turn, eliciting a cacophony of car horns as traffic is thrown into chaos. 3 times in one day I'd seen this happen, once I was almost driven off the road by a SUV (What the hell is it with SUV drivers???)

Speaking of merging, I abhore idiots who are too afraid to use merge lanes as accelleration lanes. Yesterday, I had to stomp on my brakes THREE times behind another lady (also in a SUV - what's with that?) as she would start moving forward (I would then shoulder-check to see if I can accelerate safely as well) when she suddenly stomps on her brakes. Of course, while I'm also doing a shoulder check, resulting in me needing to stomp on MY brakes to avoid rear-ending her. The merge lane is about 150-200 meters long, and traffic speeds of 70kph and traffic was sporadic and well spaced apart. What is the problem? People think that they must VEER directly into the lane from the corner without using the merge/acceleration lane.

WHO IS TEACHING PEOPLE THESE BAD HABITS???

Lord knows that I am not a perfect driver, but I believe that thanks only to my defensive driving skills, keeping an eye out for these idiots on our roads, I have not had an at-fault traffic accident in my entire life.

That and Snow Tires.

People in Canada really are being suckered into buying  "All-Season" tires, which have been proven to be no more effective at starting and stopping than summer tires when it comes to driving in snow conditions. It's not just the tread pattern, it is the chemical makeup of the rubber in the tires themselves. Winter tires have a softer rubber compound to give better traction on snow than summer/all-season tires. Of course, the treads are also larger, enabling better gripping and dispersal of snow as the tires rotate. At best, summer/all-season tires perhaps can wick water away quicker, and as their rubber compound is harder, they will have less wear during the warmer, dryer summer than winter tires would... but with winter tires, they will (obviously) have better gripping/stopping power when it comes to snow and ice - something we get 10 months out of the year here in Alberta, Canada.

All-Season tires are actually "3-season-tires" here in Canada, having been developed for countries with no (or little) snow, but more rain-like winters - say....like California, with a population larger than Canada? Dealers thought they could hock them here in Canada to make some extra $$$ at our expense. In actuality, car owners would be better off to buy premium sets of summer and winter tires, rotating them each spring and fall. This not only makes it safer to drive when the annual August Snowfall arrives, but also extends the life of both sets of tires.

Please take a gander at this video explaining WHY All-Season tires are wasted money here in Canada.

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Just a final jab at idiot drivers. Y'know, the ones who feel that they own the road, and have all the right in the world to hang out in the left lane on a highway buzzing alone at about 10 to 20 kph under the speed limit, or going exactly the same speed of a Semi in the right lane, effectively blocking off 1 km of traffic trying to go home after work from passing slower traffic in the right lane. Lemmee tell you something about this. Under the law, slower drivers must yield the left lane to faster traffic, no matter what the speed is. Get this? No Matter What The Speed Limit Posted. True, this driver is "technically" perhaps doing "just" the speed limit, but there is this little thing that trumps this, and that is "common sense". When the average speed of traffic is 110kph, and 99% of vehicles are doing this speed, it is NOT WISE to wander in front of them only doing 100kph. Chances are, one of those cowboys driving a large Dodge Ram 3/4 ton Hemi with headlights 5 feet off the ground is going to end up 1 metre from the slower vehicles back bumper, flashing lights and blaring horn to motivate the slower driver to get over into the right lane and let all the faster traffic pass.

I have seen this situation many, many times, and strangely enough, this action only encourages slower drivers to become even more reticent to mover over to the right lane. I suppose they are thinking "I am doing the maximum posted speed limit and will not break the law to speed up and move over into the right lane". Nope. They just carry on blissfully as if there were no vehicles behind them at all. Heaven forbid if an ambulance or other emergency vehicle way at the back is trying to make their way through this morass of traffic now piled up behind this one driver. I have seen such drivers in Ontario receive traffic violations for impeding the smooth flow of traffic. I do not know what the RCMP's take on this is here in Alberta, but the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) seem to me to be more effective at this type of "control" than I've seen here in Alberta. In my mind, by NOT correcting such actions, the RCMP are only helping to exacerbate such problems by enabling such drivers to become the traffic hazards that they are. Improper signalling and piss-poor situational awareness/courtesy.

Thanks for letting me vent - Now I'll be able to face yet another day of morons on our highways with a wee bit less stress tomorrow.

We're off to the "RENOvation Show" here in Edmonton today. Edmonton Renovation Show Able to print off a couple $2 off coupons for entry. About 200 Exhibitors - we're hoping to get some ideas for the FirePlace, Kitchen and Hallway for updating.

Still no floor in the kitchen - Plywood flooring exposed ever since I installed the second sub-floor wood, and have never been able to get "well enough" to finish off the floors by installing the marble flooring (Travertine, actually) that we've had sitting on pallets in the garage for almost 2 years now.

Looks like we'll have to hire someone to do the actual labour, but we want to get some ideas on the layout, Kitchen expansion and Island ideas we have floating in our heads. Washrooms need updating right now, and Home Depot has Granite Sink Tops (with under-mount sinks included) for about $200 each. We're so tempted to get 3 of them, but we'd then have to re-do the decor in the bathrooms to compliment the green tinge some of the granite has (almost emerald green).

Our hallway has parquet flooring from back door to front door area, and we suspect it has been there quite some time, so we are not sure if we need to lift off ALL the Parquet before installing another sub-floor before installing the Travertine, or if we can install directly on top of Parquet flooring (after using a giant sander to remove top layer to "roughen" up so that the cement will adhere - or will that cause the parquet to "buckle" and "split"???? Some questions for the wood/flooring Geeks at the show.

So, I think I slept so-so last night, woke up with Eli's finishing touches to my mustache (he was cleaning it, and he DROOLS!). But just as I was swinging my legs out of bed, I got hit with a small attack. Laid down again for about 20 minutes until my Dearest started singing that the Coffee was ready.

I got up. Wizz-Pills-Coffee. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Wondering if I should take an Ativan, but my leg/side was behaving at about a 3 or 4 level, so I am opting not to take one unless absolutely necessary - I'd like to drive today...

10:46 am, Coffee finished, updating this entry before posting. Wonder if I should deposit my pension cheque before we go to the show today - Just. In. Case.

You never know, eh?

Hope you all have a great weekend, Happy Lunar New Year (Year of the Rabbit, I'm told - anyone for Hasenpfeffer?).

Happy GroundHog's Day!

It seems that it has been forever since I last posted something - anything, really - on any of my 4 Blogs. So I thought to catch up and spill my guts for those of you who revel in the misery of others.

Here goes:

Well, Methadone did nothing to combat my Pain Attacks; Strength of attacks routinely approached 8, 9 and perhaps even 10 upon occasion (My new pain scale goes up to 12 now, 11 being "Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment", and the last peg on the scale does not have a number. It is actually a prayer. Only I know it.

So, just recently in Canada (or perhaps longer), a new synthesized version of THC, the active ingredient in Ganja, The Weed, Wacky-Backy and Marijuanna, has come onto the market as both a Pain Reliever and Depression Booster. Now I know that you ALL have "tested" or "experimented" with the smoke-filled version of this ingredient, and so I know that you all also know what it feels like. Calm. Relaxed, extremity sensitivity greatly reduced, mellow, and occasionally, the munchies.

Who'da Thunk?

Interestingly enough, THC is also a good nerve pain killer. Huh? Yup. It appears that in the Human Brain, nerve endings have a commonality between pain and depression. The way I understand it is that pain signals arriving in the brain go to a location that also controls Depression. So, Pain can cause Depression. Bizarre, eh? Who'da Thunk?

And now even on TV, they are saying that Depression can cause Pain. Well, D'uh! So if a drug can control pain signals in the brain, and pain lessens, then naturally, depression begins to lessen.

Conversely, if a drug is found to work well on Depression, then within the Brain, as the Depression Signal gets blocked, a corresponding Pain Signal will also be reduced.

Now, I don't know the exact "ratio's" that one affects (effects?) the other, but this is why my psychiatrist at the Pain Control Clinic suggested this drug. My main Pain Doctor could prescribe it, but the psyc Doc is better trained in it's use, and can follow up with a bit more "knowledge", so that is whom I receive my "control" doseages from.

So, it's been like 4 months now on the Synthetic THC - called Sesimet - and although I do still have my attacks, I don't think I can recall one reaching anywhere near 10, and only a rare occasional have I hit 9. Most of my attacks seem to be hanging around 7 to 8, but that seems to be the problem. My attacks, although lower in intensity, are also seemingly longer. Within the past 5 or 6 weeks, I've had attacks in the 6'ish range lasting for over an hour, and while my leg is burning, tearing, twisting, ripping and set on fire, the intensity can slowly vary between 5 and 8, like a slow ocean swell, with no end in sight.

So as you can imagine, I've been spending a lot of time in the Sideways Horizontal Position, practicing my breathing, and other stuff. It's at these times that I also pop an ativan, if only to help me short term to deal with my rising panic and depression as these attacks build in strength and duration. Fortunately, I have not used a lot, and still have lots in stock in case I need them.

Meanderings

Lessee, what else is there. Still gots 3 furball wild animals roaming around our house like they own it. Well, truthfully, in their minds, they do! We're are just caretakers/litterbox-changers.(whups, which reminds me...).

So, here I am, in my 13th year of my Leg Pain/Issues. Veterans Affairs are once again looking at a "possible pension", my leg pain is as bad as ever, if not more, and my large breakthroughs (BT's) are as large as ever. I find that I am becoming reliant on the Ativan to help me maintain control over my breathing, but what if that fails, what if I am unable to take that one little pill before I am totally incompacitated?

Then?  I suspect that I may have a history of "passing out" in the midst of the extreme pain than I realize. I know I have done it at least once because I have had witnesses tell me so, even though I have no memory of passing out. Just extreme pain.

So, that begs the question - how many OTHER times have I passed out in the middle of a BT where I had not taken an Ativan - or even worse, even while using Ativan??? What happens to my brain when I "pass out". Apparently, I didn't stop breathing the one witnessed time, but is that normal, or does my whole body shut down until it "re-starts"?

So, now I am on another new(er) drug only recently available in Canada, and not a lot of people are using it. It is a synthetic version of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. But this drug is in PILL form. No smoking, hiding from police or other illegal activity. I have a script for this medication, and am taking it twice a day. Soon to be T.I.D. - I think today is supposed to be the day I start the third pill in the afternoon.

So, with all this, you'd think that my pain would be under more control. Far from the truth.

It seems that in the brain, the Pain Centre and the Depression Centre are co-located with (apparently) a lot of overlapping neurons and connections. The theory in the psychiatritic world is that pain feeds depression and vice versa because of this. So a person in pain can more readily develop depression than a person not in pain. Also, apparently a depressed person perceives pain much more than a non-depressed person. (Or something like that).

ANYWAYS, because I have been clinically diagnosed with severe depression, the cool doctors at the U of A Pain Clinic thought that this synthetic THC may be a good fit for me. It will either help control the pain, control the depression or just make me high (Just kidding...), just by working it's wonderful magic on that portion of the brain that THC typically works on - the Pain/Depression area.

Of course, side effects are there, typical of Ganja users: difficulty focussing, munchies, and so on. BUT there are side effects that are more sinister than typically meets the eye - increased depression (I didn't see that one coming) side effects on the surface of the skin (rashes, etc), irrational behaviour, panic, and other trauma. Apparently, there are some people out there who do not handle THC (in any form) very well. So it was one of the questions I had to answer before receiving the Rx - did I ever have a bad experience or side effect IF I had ever smoked marijuana in the past.

Well, hell, I remember in my youth (Yup, I was young and foolish at one time) that I couldn't get enough weed - I so enjoyed the mild and exuberant high I got from the Okanagan Gold Weed to which we had plentiful access. Nope, can't remember a single bad thing - only good stuff happening.

So, I've been on this pill for over two weeks no

w, and the only difference I note is that every now and then I get woozy, but have not noticed too much a change in my attitude, pain levels and depression. Just some bleary-eyed mornings; I have a very hard time getting up in the mornings - I really have to fight to get my ass out of bed now. It's not like I'm tired, but just too "blown away" to make the effort of getting up. Invariably, I get up simply because if I don't, my bladder will burst. My GAFF seems to also have taken a hit. I'd say my average GAFF is around 5 - a lot of initiative is lost. Not that I don't want to get stuff done, but again, I have to really force myself to get off my butt and start anything.

Yesterday and the day before, I stood in my garage and stared at a page with a somewhat simple drawing of a box-frame to eventually hold a door (or two) used to cover up the Power Panel in the basement. I stared at the drawing (with it's dimensions jotted in) for probably a total of 6 hours or more. I would cut a 2x4 to a length, then go back and look at the drawing, and simply zone out because I could not understand the drawing. I could not "intuit" the final shape and how the vertical and horizontal frames would meed. 45 degree or butt-joint. I could not see how the second 2x4's that then stand on edge on top of the frame 2x4's were supposed to be arranged - this is to allow the door to fit over top of the power panel as it does sit a bit exposed from the wall and a flat 2x4 is not far enough out to allow a door to close, so a second 2x4 added to the box-frame 2x4, standing on the narrow side, will allow any door/picture/mirror to be in front of the panel.

Not a difficult drawing, but even today, what I actually built yesterday afternoon looks nothing like the paper design. I ended up installing and taking off the 2x4's 3 or 4 times, adjusting the second edge-on 2x4 several times (creating a lot of holes in both pieces of 2x4's) until I finally was able to secure the whole thing to the wall around the power panel.

Now, I had enough room to actually install the ADSL Router and ADSL Digital TV Modem completely within the box, cables neatly tied up or coiled and secured, nothing hanging out of the power panel any more, looking a helluva lot neater.

I have absolutely NO IDEA how I ended up with that installation. But it actually looks pretty damned good. And some new kitchen doors that we had stored under the stairs actually will fit pretty good (withing a 1/4 inch), but I will have to use Piano Hinges so they open properly - and lot

s of 1/4" screws I guess)

So, to sum up, BT's - 2 or 3 times a day at least, usually just 6's or perhaps the odd 7's. 1 or 2 times a week a BT ~9 or so craps on my day. Depression average ~5-6. Bad Jags of ~8 can ruin my day, and ~9's result in me staying in bed out of fear of what I might do if I stay awake and mobile feeling like that.